You might be Al Qaida if:

10. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.

9. You own a $300 machine gun and a $5,000 rocket launcher, but you
can’t afford shoes.

8. You have more wives than teeth.

7. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.

6. You can’t think of anyone you HAVEN’T declared Jihad against.

5. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry ammunition in your

4. You’ve never been asked, “Does this burka make my ass look fat?”

3. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting
off roadside bombs.

2. You’ve never uttered the phrase, “I love what you’ve done with your

1. You wipe your butt with your bare left hand, but consider bacon unclean.

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3 Responses to You might be Al Qaida if:

  1. Steve says:

    Typical American, confusing Al-Qaida with The Taleban.

    Several points totally confused, but the main one is that Al-Qaida have no issue with technology like cell phones and television – that’s the Taleban.

    Don’t worry though – your last president didn’t know the difference either.

  2. Jon says:

    Agreed, typical American. The fact that you mention the Islamic attire the Burka to be associated with terrorists is just ignorance. Not funny.

  3. Michael - typical american says:

    Oh well eight out of ten

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